Moving from Winter Months to Spring Time

"I make things," I said.

After an eye opening interview that gave me an idea of what it feels like to speak about something you truly love and believe in while knowingly being judged for it, I had no nerves when asked what it is I do, in front of 100 plus people at a scholarship dinner.

With a smile on my face, and my Kai by my side, I said, "I make things! Accessories, creatures, jewelry, you name it, I'll make it."

It is incredible what happens when you put the energy out there, and wait for the opportunities to arise. When they surface, you have to jump. You have to go for it. Leave behind the "stuff" you've been carrying around, and just leap with a big ol' smile painted across your face.

After my interview on Friday, I went home and squealed about it, over and over, it was like a tide coming in. Swell after swell of joy, reassurance, stability, excitement, pride, ease, calmness, all at the same time.

I created things all Saturday, and today, Sunday, I have been going through my closet. After looking into that dark, tangled mess of matted clothes, I started a basic google search for apartments. I know, I am not quite there yet, but I can feel it coming, and I can't wait. I think I will like having the pressure to buy what I need, not what I want. That box will keep me in line. I will have to get creative with what I have and I like that. I need that. I am prepared for the challenge and welcome it openly.

The weather, despite it being accompanied with the eery humming of climate change, has allowed me to ride my bike the 1.5 miles to school every day this week (except Friday to prevent showing up sweaty for an interview). This was an empowering, enlightening, challenging and deeply needed experience. I have slept deeper, felt better, grown muscles and feel better connected to my daily life.

I would love to get a speedier bike to cruise around in, like the real cyclists do, but I have to say, I love my bike, and I love the challenge that it gives me. I appreciate what I have and I want to keep that feeling going.

Namaste & Happy Spring,

E.B.

What a weekend..

New Hampshire Weekend

Leaving my creations and sewing home, I hopped into the car, took a deep breath, and allowed whatever was to be, to be.  Being able to let go of things that feel like they "need to get done" does feel good, although it may feel challenging. I usually think of every moment as an opportunity, and thats not untrue. It is very true that every moment has opportunity, but every moment does not need to contain so much juice of life that you're dry by noon.

I took some time to just sit, read a magazine, take a cat nap in the sun that shines in through the frost covered windows, glistening on my face. I know when the wind blows because I feel the shadows move from my eye past my ear, and down my neck.  I know when the wind abides, for the branches cast the shadow that bounces back to my eye. I appreciate these simple moments for all the beauty and opportunity they give. However simple, however complex, its not what is in the moment, it is in how you are being in the moment. That is why "new" and "change" are so important. We feel comfortable and accustomed to things we do everyday, and we know "how those actions are supposed to feel." If we are never present in the moments of our lives that seem to feel normal, we never experience the true opportunities that reside in those moments. For the truth is, we are the variable. The actions do remain the same, but every time we approach that familiar action, the "we" has changed. We bring the new thing. We are the change.

Snowshoeing with the Pup, and taking some time to walk in the woods. Smelling the clean air and watching paw prints from rabbits who hopped into the brush. I feel so at home here in nature and just being, just breathing. Leaving things behind to be done another day feels good. Yoga by the porch feels good. Laying with my feet up the wall, reversing the normal flow of blood feels refreshing. And staying in bed till 11:30 feels even better. =]

Keep searching for that.

-Peace

E.B.